This is for the teachers

My heart goes out to you

To the teachers, my heart goes out to you.

I'm writing this on a flight to Mexico at the end of a long, grueling school year. If I'm being honest, I need this trip. I need sunshine, rest, and time to reconnect with myself because the last year nearly broke me. I just finished my 28th year of teaching, and my goal for the year was to get into a high-vibe state, make miracles happen, and document them in a book. I would settle my students, heal their traumas, and have a joyful year of love and learning. That did not happen. But I survived. My mantra, borrowed from medicine, became, “First, do no harm.” I’m very proud of myself for getting through the year the best I could.

If you're reading this, chances are you know the feeling: the relentless pressure, the constant demands, the emotional exhaustion. You may also have experienced the joy of connecting with a student, witnessing a breakthrough, and making a meaningful difference in someone's life. You see, this book is for those of us who have felt the weight of the world on our shoulders, the ones who have poured our hearts and souls into our work, who have questioned our purpose, and wondered if this was all worth it. It’s for the teachers who are struggling, who are burned out, who are looking for a better path. But it’s also for the ones who are thriving, who are passionate about teaching, and who are constantly seeking new ways to inspire, engage, and uplift their students. It is for those who want to create classrooms where learning is transformative, and teaching is a joy.

The book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt explains what’s happened to kids lately. In short, they were over-protected in the real world and way under-protected online. They missed essential experiences to develop social skills, resiliency, independence, and problem-solving face-to-face with other children without adults jumping in to fix things. At the same time, they were exposed to content online that they were not ready for. Never have I had to make a “no moaning” rule in class. I teach third grade in a good neighborhood!

Not all students are "dysregulated." By dysregulated, I mean they can’t function in a classroom without causing significant disruptions and need special programs built around their unique needs. Depending on the area, it might be as low as 10% of the students who come to school dysregulated. It might be as high as 90% in other areas. However, even two or three dysregulated students in a class can wreak havoc if no support is put in place to accommodate these students. This year, I had four, plus another four who were easily distracted by the “wrecking crew.” In almost three decades of teaching, I’ve never had a piece of technology broken on my watch. Two iPads were broken this year, so I banned technology for the rest of the year. There was also a broken window, countless acts of minor vandalism, and a few broken lamps. It wasn’t malicious; it was just kids who could not control their bodies or impulses.

I work in one of the highest-performing schools in my district, known for its leadership among other districts. Grade 3 is the sweet spot, the least needy of the primary grades, while still benefiting from the smaller class sizes (maximum 24 students as opposed to 30 in grades 4-7). I work with a very supportive administrative team and colleagues. I have loads of experience and resources. There was nowhere I could go to have an easier time with it. Honestly, I don’t know how teachers in the inner-city are even functioning.

This book is not only about what is happening in schools today, but why. At the societal level, we could turn this around. It’s quite simple, though not at all easy. Get kids off screens, get them into nature, have them play face-to-face with other children, eat nutrient-dense food that supports brain development, and make sure they get lots of exercise. The most effective would be to do this from when they are babies. Parents would need to be off screens when they are around their children. They would need to talk to them, read to them, play with them, and teach them how to be good humans. Seems so radical, yet that’s how it was for my generation growing up in the 70s and 80s.

While we wait for that miracle, we teachers are trying to take our advice to “get what we get and not get upset.” Kids are different now. Resisting reality only brings suffering. We need to work with their minuscule attention spans. Teach them mini lessons on social skills daily or even hourly. Build exercise into the school day. Practice breathwork, tapping, yoga, meditation, art therapy, or other strategies to ground the body, reset the nervous system, and even release trauma. We need to teach and practice a growth mindset and positive self-talk. This is easier said than done. Whenever I tried to introduce one of these practices to my class this year, the most dysregulated students would refuse to participate or sabotage the lesson by acting out. But even with the most challenging students, it’s worth trying different strategies because something might help, and you won’t know unless you try. This year, we did a lot of running. For a few months, my students raced me around the school until I found out that some had been banging on classroom doors and windows, so I had to switch it to laps around the field. (When they threw mud balls at the portable, I got a ladder and rags and made them wash it off.) We started and ended every PE class with tag, and many played tag every day at recess and lunch. They had fun, and it helped burn off steam. One of the year's highlights for some of my students was when I said yes when they asked me to play tag with them. Being chased gives them that dopamine hit they are craving while they wait for the school day to end so they can get back to their screens. Another strategy teachers use to help regulate students is doing a “soft start,” starting the day with play, exercise, or another “preferred” activity. I used to think “soft start” was a waste of time. Why give up prime learning time in the morning? Why not use that time later in the day as a reward for good behavior? My hook was “work hard, play hard,” in which kids earn breaks by first getting their work done. Now, I realize that some students need downtime as a buffer between home and school. If they can start their day in a way that meets their needs, the whole day might go better. Soft start is just one example that may, from the outside, look like teachers are lowering their standards, but it might be best practice in some classrooms. Thirty years ago, students only got breaks at recess and lunch. Now they need breaks every half hour. I used to teach thirty- or forty-minute lessons. Now my lessons are ten to twelve minutes. It’s a different world and a different classroom.

In the following pages, I share my stories, reflections, and practical strategies that have helped me re-discover my passion and purpose for teaching. I hope you find inspiration, guidance, and a sense of renewal as you embark on your own journey of teaching from the heart. I wrote this book because I want to share my journey through 28 years of teaching, my lessons learned, and my vision for a future where teachers are not just educators but also healers, guides, and uplifters.